1
00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:13,845
LOOK WHAT I BOUGHT!

2
00:00:13,881 --> 00:00:15,247
COOL.

3
00:00:15,282 --> 00:00:17,383
TONIGHT I'LL BE THE DOCTOR,

4
00:00:17,418 --> 00:00:20,152
AND YOU'LL BE THE
VEGAS SHOWGIRL.

5
00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:22,954
THEY'RE FOR<i> YOU,</i> SILLY.

6
00:00:29,596 --> 00:00:32,097
<i>I'm</i> the showgirl!

7
00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:38,837
Berg: I'VE BEEN A
VERY BAD SHOWGIRL!

8
00:00:47,181 --> 00:00:49,681
WE HAVE TO GO BACK
TO THE APARTMENT.

9
00:00:57,925 --> 00:01:00,725
PETE!

10
00:01:00,761 --> 00:01:02,694
PETER!

11
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:05,130
IT'S COOL. NO ONE'S HERE.

12
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,867
THANK YOU. THANKS
FOR WALKING ME OUT.

13
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,202
LISTEN, IRENE...

14
00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:12,049
DON'T YOU THINK ALL
THIS SNEAKIN' AROUND

15
00:01:12,073 --> 00:01:13,716
IS MAKIN' US LOOK
A LITTLE SILLY?

16
00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:17,342
NO, YOU UNDERNEATH MY
ROBE... THAT WOULD LOOK SILLY.

17
00:01:17,378 --> 00:01:19,478
RIGHT? RIGHT?

18
00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:22,514
BUT, IRENE, I'M JUST SAYIN'
THAT WOULD IT BE SO TERRIBLE

19
00:01:22,550 --> 00:01:25,750
IF OR TWO PEOPLE
FOUND OUT ABOUT US?

20
00:01:25,786 --> 00:01:28,520
I'M SURE IT MUST BE VERY
TEMPTING TO RUN DOWN THE HALL

21
00:01:28,556 --> 00:01:30,922
YELLING, "I MADE SWEET
LOVE WITH IRENE! AHH!"

22
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:36,728
BUT I CANNOT RUN THE RISK
OF PETE EVER FINDING OUT.

23
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:38,675
STILL WITH THE
"PETE THING," HUH?

24
00:01:38,699 --> 00:01:39,965
WOW!

25
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,534
I THOUGHT AFTER SPENDING
THIS MUCH TIME WITH ME,

26
00:01:42,570 --> 00:01:45,870
YOU MIGHT HAVE
FORGOTTEN ABOUT HIM.

27
00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:52,877
OH, YOU!

28
00:01:52,913 --> 00:01:55,914
I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S
THE SEX OR THE LAUGHS,

29
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:58,217
BUT WE DO HAVE FUN.

30
00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:02,287
PETE! NOT NOW, IRENE.

31
00:02:02,323 --> 00:02:04,656
I KNOW YOU'RE WONDERING
WHAT I WAS DOING WITH BERG.

32
00:02:04,691 --> 00:02:05,890
NOT REALLY.

33
00:02:05,926 --> 00:02:08,460
OKAY, OBVIOUSLY YOU
HAVE SOME QUESTIONS...

34
00:02:08,496 --> 00:02:10,028
OHH!

35
00:02:14,701 --> 00:02:16,435
Al Michaels: <i>AND SO AT THE HALF</i>

36
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:18,470
<i>NEW ENGLAND LEADS
BY A TOUCHDOWN.</i>

37
00:02:18,506 --> 00:02:20,272
<i>AND WHEN WE COME BACK,</i>

38
00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:24,309
<i>WE'LL BE JOINED BY RED SOX
SUPERSTAR NOMAR GARCIAPARRA.</i>

39
00:02:26,413 --> 00:02:28,358
DID YOU HEAR THAT? MY
MAN NOMAR'S COMIN' ON.

40
00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:29,481
NOMAR'S NOT YOUR MAN.

41
00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:32,251
HE WAS NEVER<i> YOUR</i>
MAN. HE WAS<i> MY</i> MAN.

42
00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:33,685
SO, YOU, MY FRIEND,

43
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:36,121
ARE GONNA HAVE TO FIND
YOURSELF<i> ANOTHER</i> MAN.

44
00:02:39,059 --> 00:02:40,692
HEY! WE NEED TO TALK.

45
00:02:40,727 --> 00:02:42,761
I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT
YOU'RE TALKIN' ABOUT.

46
00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:46,165
MARTI'S NOT WEARING A BRA!

47
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,900
WE NEED TO TALK
ABOUT YOU AND IRENE

48
00:02:48,935 --> 00:02:50,636
HAVING SEX IN MY HOUSE.

49
00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:52,371
OH! YOU KNOW WHAT?

50
00:02:52,406 --> 00:02:55,307
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO
TALK TO IRENE ABOUT THAT.

51
00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:57,075
SHE BOOKS ALL OUR GIGS.

52
00:02:57,110 --> 00:03:00,979
CUT IT OUT, BERG. I SAW YOU.

53
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:01,980
OH!

54
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,215
YEAH.

55
00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:05,950
I STILL SEE YOU EVERY
TIME I CLOSE MY EYES.

56
00:03:05,986 --> 00:03:08,086
WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! HOLD ON!

57
00:03:08,121 --> 00:03:09,421
YOU CAN'T TELL ANYBODY.

58
00:03:09,456 --> 00:03:10,989
I HAVE TO TELL SHARON.

59
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,591
YOU<i> CAN'T</i> TELL SHARON.

60
00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:15,026
SHE'S MY WIFE! BIG DEAL!

61
00:03:15,062 --> 00:03:17,696
WHERE'S IT WRITTEN THAT YOU
HAVE TO TELL HER EVERYTHING?

62
00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:20,499
IN THE PRENUP.

63
00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:25,770
I'M JUST SAYING JUST THE
FACT THAT YOU'RE MARRIED

64
00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:28,006
DOESN'T CHANGE THE
FACT THAT YOU'RE A GUY!

65
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:31,610
GUYS NEED TO TELL EACH
OTHER THINGS... <i>GUY</i> THINGS.

66
00:03:31,645 --> 00:03:33,278
NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

67
00:03:33,314 --> 00:03:35,514
THIS IS SHARON
WE'RE TALKIN' ABOUT.

68
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:38,027
SHE'S GOT A DEATH
GRIP ON MY "GUY THINGS."

69
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,184
JOHNNY...

70
00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:42,020
JOHNNY, COME ON!
PLEASE? PLEASE, JOHNNY?

71
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:44,167
WHAT ARE YOU TWO TALKING ABOUT?

72
00:03:44,191 --> 00:03:48,527
JOHNNY WAS JUST TELLIN' ME
HOW NICE HE THOUGHT I LOOKED.

73
00:03:50,464 --> 00:03:53,565
I MEAN, I... I BROUGHT IT UP,

74
00:03:53,601 --> 00:03:57,603
BUT... BUT THEN
JOHNNY WAS LIKE, "YEAH!"

75
00:03:57,638 --> 00:04:00,439
REALLY?

76
00:04:00,474 --> 00:04:02,608
THAT DOESN'T SOUND
LIKE YOU, JOHNNY.

77
00:04:02,643 --> 00:04:05,810
OH, TH... I TELL GUYS THEY
LOOK GOOD ALL THE TIME.

78
00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:07,546
HEY, BUDDY!

79
00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:09,381
CUTE SLACKS.

80
00:04:14,321 --> 00:04:15,654
HEY, NOMAR'S ON!

81
00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:18,089
OH, WHAT'S HE WEARING?

82
00:04:20,394 --> 00:04:22,861
<i>NOMAR, THERE'S A LOT OF
SPECULATION RIGHT NOW</i>

83
00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:25,364
<i>CONCERNING WHETHER
YOU'LL STAY WITH THE RED SOX.</i>

84
00:04:25,399 --> 00:04:26,831
<i>WHAT CAN YOU TELL US?</i>

85
00:04:26,867 --> 00:04:29,234
<i>WELL, I'M CONSIDERING
ALL MY OPTIONS RIGHT NOW.</i>

86
00:04:29,270 --> 00:04:30,835
OH! OH! OH! OH!

87
00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:33,705
MAN, DID YOU HEAR THAT?
NOMAR MIGHT LEAVE BOSTON.

88
00:04:33,741 --> 00:04:36,241
<i>ASIDE FROM THE OBVIOUS HEARTACHE</i>

89
00:04:36,277 --> 00:04:37,909
<i>INVOLVED FOR RED SOX FANS,</i>

90
00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:40,379
<i>I UNDERSTAND THERE WAS
SOME HEARTACHE INVOLVED</i>

91
00:04:40,414 --> 00:04:41,880
<i>FOR YOU PERSONALLY.</i>

92
00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:44,916
<i>ASHLEY.</i>

93
00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:51,723
<i>UH, SO, UH...</i>

94
00:04:51,759 --> 00:04:54,459
<i>SO, NOMAR... BIG YEAR...
THE BATTING TITLE...</i>

95
00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:56,628
<i>I HAVE HER PICTURE RIGHT HERE.</i>

96
00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:05,904
<i>UH, NOMAR, WE'RE
GOING TO TAKE A BREAK.</i>

97
00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:07,439
<i>WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.</i>

98
00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:09,308
WHO IS THIS ASHLEY CHICK?!

99
00:05:09,343 --> 00:05:11,943
LET'S FIND WHERE SHE
LIVES AND DO STUFF!

100
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:13,812
YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!

101
00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:16,247
ASHLEY, THIS IS AWFUL. YOU
BETTER GET OUT OF HERE.

102
00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:18,283
WHY? NOBODY KNOWS WHO I AM.

103
00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:20,519
HEY!

104
00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:23,154
AREN'T YOU ASHLEY FROM THE TV?!

105
00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:25,757
BOO! BOO! BOO!

106
00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:31,196
NO, NO, NO, JOHNNY!
YOU STAY STRONG!

107
00:05:31,231 --> 00:05:32,764
OKAY, LOOK, I GOT TO GO.

108
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:33,800
BERG!

109
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:34,899
BERG!

110
00:05:34,935 --> 00:05:36,780
NO, SHE CANNOT
SEE INTO YOUR SOUL!

111
00:05:36,804 --> 00:05:39,003
WELL, THEN LOOK THE OTHER WAY.

112
00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:40,917
BERG! BERG! LOOK! LOOK! LOOK!

113
00:05:40,941 --> 00:05:43,875
OKAY! DADDY TOLD
YOU NOT TO BOTHER HIM

114
00:05:43,910 --> 00:05:45,711
WHEN HE'S ON THE PHONE.

115
00:05:45,746 --> 00:05:48,157
CHECK OUT THE MORNING
PAPER. ASHLEY'S ALL OVER 'EM.

116
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,682
"ALL THE WITCHES
AREN'T IN SALEM."

117
00:05:55,489 --> 00:06:00,158
"NO GARCIAPARRA... LET'S
LYNCH HER TOMORRA."

118
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,673
AND THE FUNNY GUY
ON "SPORTS CENTER"

119
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:05,196
CALLED HER "TRASH-LEY."

120
00:06:05,232 --> 00:06:09,568
MAN, JUST THINK ABOUT IT.

121
00:06:09,603 --> 00:06:11,436
ASHLEY'S UPSTAIRS ASLEEP.

122
00:06:11,472 --> 00:06:14,339
SHE HAS NO IDEA THE
WORLD HATES HER.

123
00:06:14,375 --> 00:06:16,975
SHE IS GONNA BE DEVASTATED
WHEN SHE SEES THIS.

124
00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:18,076
YOU'RE RIGHT.

125
00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:19,077
YEAH.

126
00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:21,813
I SHOULD GO WAKE HER UP.

127
00:06:21,849 --> 00:06:23,482
HEY! HEY, SHARON!

128
00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:25,584
I CAN'T TALK. I GOTTA
GO TORTURE ASHLEY.

129
00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:26,951
SO WHAT'S THAT ABOUT?

130
00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:28,898
ASHLEY'S 15 MINUTES OF
SHAME. CHECK THIS OUT.

131
00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:32,557
SO, YESTERDAY AT THE BAR...

132
00:06:32,593 --> 00:06:35,460
WHAT WERE YOU AND JOHNNY
<i>REALLY</i> TALKING ABOUT?

133
00:06:35,496 --> 00:06:38,463
WAS JOHNNY AT THE BAR YESTERDAY?

134
00:06:38,499 --> 00:06:41,299
OHHHHH! OKAY!

135
00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:43,535
I SEE YOU GOT A LITTLE SECRET!

136
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:44,836
OKAY!

137
00:06:44,872 --> 00:06:47,071
THAT'S FINE. I'M NOT
GONNA TELL YOU.

138
00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:49,040
WHATEVER. NO
MATTER WHAT YOU SAY.

139
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:51,020
I KNOW... BECAUSE
IT'S ABOUT ASHLEY.

140
00:06:51,044 --> 00:06:52,277
NO.

141
00:06:52,312 --> 00:06:53,645
IRENE?

142
00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:56,448
WHY WOULD I HAVE A SECRET
THAT HAS TO DO WITH IRENE?

143
00:06:56,483 --> 00:06:57,761
OKAY, SECRET ABOUT IRENE!

144
00:06:57,785 --> 00:06:59,551
PFTT!

145
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,554
THAT IS RIDICULOUS.

146
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:03,789
OH! HA HA!

147
00:07:03,824 --> 00:07:06,558
SECRET ABOUT<i> BERG</i> AND IRENE.

148
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:09,394
OKAY, STOP!

149
00:07:09,430 --> 00:07:12,096
HOW DO YOU GO FROM
"THAT'S RIDICULOUS"

150
00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:13,465
TO "BERG AND IRENE,"

151
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:15,667
KNOWING FULL WELL
SHE IS THE LAST PERSON

152
00:07:15,702 --> 00:07:17,869
I WOULD EVER HAVE
ANYTHING TO DO WITH?

153
00:07:17,905 --> 00:07:19,738
YOU'RE NOT SLEEPIN'
WITH HER, ARE YOU?

154
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:20,939
JOHNNY TOLD YOU!

155
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:24,309
OH, MY GOD! YOU'RE
SLEEPING WITH HER?!

156
00:07:24,344 --> 00:07:26,244
HE<i> DIDN'T</i> TELL YOU!

157
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:28,480
OHH!

158
00:07:28,515 --> 00:07:30,882
IT WAS... IT WAS
JUST A WILD GUESS!

159
00:07:30,918 --> 00:07:35,219
I MEAN... YOU'RE
HAVING SEX WITH IRENE?!

160
00:07:39,359 --> 00:07:42,226
IT'S NOT BAD.

161
00:07:42,262 --> 00:07:45,029
HOW DID IT START?

162
00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:48,032
WELL, HOW DOES IT
EVER START, YOU KNOW?

163
00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:52,136
I SNUCK A HAND ON HER BREAST,
AND SHE LET IT STAY THERE.

164
00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:57,308
BUT SHE'S... IRENE!

165
00:07:57,344 --> 00:08:02,146
I MEAN... YOU KNOW,
LITTLE... IRENE!

166
00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:05,350
I KNOW, AND THAT'S
WHY I DIDN'T TELL ANYONE.

167
00:08:05,385 --> 00:08:06,818
NO, YOU TOLD JOHNNY!

168
00:08:06,854 --> 00:08:10,021
NO, I DIDN'T. HE WALKED IN
ON US IN YOUR NEW HOUSE.

169
00:08:10,056 --> 00:08:12,624
W-W-W-WAIT!

170
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,759
YOU HAD SEX IN MY NEW HOUSE!

171
00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:18,697
<i>I</i> HAVEN'T EVEN HAD
SEX IN MY NEW HOUSE!

172
00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:22,634
IT'S GREAT.

173
00:08:23,871 --> 00:08:26,972
HOW COULD JOHNNY KEEP
SOMETHING THIS BIG FROM ME?

174
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:29,073
WELL, NOW I HAVE
TO MAKE HIM TELL ME.

175
00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:30,876
H-H-H-H-HOLD ON!

176
00:08:30,911 --> 00:08:33,011
SHARON, YOU ALREADY KNOW!

177
00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:34,913
YES, BUT A HUSBAND
NEEDS TO LEARN

178
00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:37,148
THAT HE CAN'T KEEP
SECRETS FROM HIS WIFE.

179
00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:38,449
YOU KNOW WHAT?

180
00:08:38,485 --> 00:08:39,996
LADY, I'M BETTIN' ON JOHNNY.

181
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:43,087
BECAUSE WHEN A MAN HAS A
SECRET AND HE DOESN'T WANT TO TELL,

182
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:45,283
HE AIN'T GONNA LET
NO WOMAN MAKE HIM.

183
00:08:47,427 --> 00:08:48,894
YOU'RE PROBABLY RIGHT.

184
00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:50,540
YOU'RE DAMN STRAIGHT I'M RIGHT!

185
00:08:50,564 --> 00:08:51,897
OH! OH!

186
00:08:51,932 --> 00:08:54,465
DOES IRENE HAVE A
PET NAME FOR YOU?

187
00:08:54,501 --> 00:08:55,800
BANANA PANTS... DAMN IT!

188
00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:05,076
Crowd: DOWN WITH ASHLEY!

189
00:09:05,111 --> 00:09:08,146
DOWN WITH ASHLEY!
DOWN WITH ASHLEY!

190
00:09:08,181 --> 00:09:12,984
DOWN WITH ASHLEY!
DOWN WITH ASHLEY!

191
00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:16,087
ASHLEY'S ANGRY MOB.

192
00:09:16,122 --> 00:09:17,722
MY PEOPLE.

193
00:09:19,526 --> 00:09:20,992
OH, THANKS!

194
00:09:21,028 --> 00:09:22,928
YOU GOT IT, MAN.

195
00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:24,262
OH, HEY!

196
00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:27,432
DON'T FORGET YOUR EGGS!

197
00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:31,502
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE LETTING
STRANGERS USE YOUR BATHROOM.

198
00:09:31,538 --> 00:09:34,439
STRANGERS? MARTI,
HE'S NOT A STRANGER.

199
00:09:34,474 --> 00:09:38,076
WE ARE ALL BROTHERS IN
THE FIGHT AGAINST ASHLEY.

200
00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:41,145
COME ON, PETE! LEAVE
THE POOR WOMAN ALONE.

201
00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:43,915
SHE JUST BROKE UP
WITH HER BOYFRIEND

202
00:09:43,951 --> 00:09:46,451
'CAUSE HE WAS
ACTING LIKE AN IDIOT.

203
00:09:46,486 --> 00:09:48,486
THAT COULD HAPPEN TO ANYONE.

204
00:09:48,521 --> 00:09:51,122
ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.

205
00:09:51,157 --> 00:09:53,959
MAYBE I'M TAKING THIS
THING A LITTLE TOO FAR.

206
00:09:53,994 --> 00:09:55,460
I'LL STOP.

207
00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:59,864
Man: HEY, EVERYBODY,
HERE SHE COMES!

208
00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:01,199
IT'S SHOWTIME!

209
00:10:04,170 --> 00:10:05,170
Man: HERE SHE COMES!

210
00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:06,382
BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO!

211
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:08,172
HEY, NOMAR, DUMP ASHLEY!

212
00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:10,141
OKAY, OUT OF MY WAY!

213
00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:11,977
ASHLEY OUT OF BOSTON!

214
00:10:12,012 --> 00:10:15,513
Crowd: ASHLEY OUT OF
BOSTON! ASHLEY OUT OF BOSTON!

215
00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:17,882
HEY, WOULD YOU
PEOPLE GET A LIFE!

216
00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:21,552
WHAT, IS THERE NO "STAR TREK"
CONVENTION THIS WEEKEND?

217
00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:24,489
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
HOW PATHETIC YOU LOOK

218
00:10:24,524 --> 00:10:27,726
DOING YOUR LAME CHANTS
AND WAVING FOAM FINGERS?

219
00:10:29,997 --> 00:10:32,463
MY PERSONAL LIFE IS
NOT YOUR BUSINESS!

220
00:10:32,499 --> 00:10:34,432
SO STOP WORRYING ABOUT ME,

221
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:37,869
AND START WORRYING ABOUT HOW
TO EXPLAIN YOUR COUSIN'S BABY!

222
00:10:37,904 --> 00:10:39,704
I'M SORRY!

223
00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:42,040
EXCUSE ME! WHAT'S THE PASSWORD?

224
00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:43,908
Man: ASHLEY<i> STILL</i> SUCKS!

225
00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:44,909
GOOD ONE!

226
00:10:44,945 --> 00:10:46,144
Crowd: YOU STILL SUCK!

227
00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:47,857
YOU STILL SUCK! YOU STILL SUCK!

228
00:10:47,881 --> 00:10:49,981
YOU STILL SUCK! OKAY!

229
00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:53,051
BUT I DIDN'T JUST
BREAK UP WITH NOMAR.

230
00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:55,486
ANOTHER MAN STOLE MY HEART,

231
00:10:55,522 --> 00:10:58,489
AND THAT MAN HAPPENS
TO BE A HUGE YANKEES FAN.

232
00:10:58,525 --> 00:11:01,726
MY BOYFRIEND... PETER DUNVILLE!

233
00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:03,494
Crowd: YOU BOTH SUCK!

234
00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:04,663
YOU BOTH SUCK!

235
00:11:04,698 --> 00:11:05,930
NO! NO! NO!

236
00:11:05,966 --> 00:11:07,198
SHE'S LYING!

237
00:11:07,233 --> 00:11:08,711
YOU BOTH SUCK! YOU BOTH SUCK!

238
00:11:08,735 --> 00:11:09,968
LET ME IN!

239
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:12,203
LET ME IN!

240
00:11:12,238 --> 00:11:15,140
BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO!

241
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:25,995
ANYTHING ABOUT ME IN THE PAPER?

242
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:28,953
JUST A TINY LITTLE PICTURE
OF YOU AND ASHLEY KISSING.

243
00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:30,521
YOU CAN'T EVEN TELL IT'S YOU.

244
00:11:30,557 --> 00:11:32,256
THANK GOD.

245
00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:34,336
IT'S FINE. WAIT... SEE SPORTS.

246
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,327
WHOA!

247
00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:39,798
OH, MY GOD!

248
00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:43,802
THIS IS BIGGER THAN
YOUR ACTUAL FACE.

249
00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:45,704
YOU! I KNOW. I KNOW.

250
00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:47,672
IT IS SO UNFAIR OF ME.

251
00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:50,441
I'M GONNA PUT AN
END TO IT RIGHT NOW.

252
00:11:50,476 --> 00:11:52,610
HEY!

253
00:11:52,645 --> 00:11:54,713
YOU LEAVE PETE DUNVILLE,

254
00:11:54,748 --> 00:11:57,849
WHO LIVES IN THIS
APARTMENT, ALONE!

255
00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:01,652
HEY! HEY! YOU KNOW WHAT?!

256
00:12:01,688 --> 00:12:03,521
I'M NOT SCARED OF YOU!

257
00:12:06,193 --> 00:12:10,261
GOOD THINKING THERE.
YELL AT THE ANGRY MOB.

258
00:12:19,139 --> 00:12:21,005
ALL RIGHT! THAT'S IT!

259
00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:22,841
YOU'VE ENTERED THE BUILDING!

260
00:12:22,876 --> 00:12:25,744
YOU'RE TRESPASSING,
AND I'M CALLING THE POLICE!

261
00:12:25,779 --> 00:12:29,180
GO AHEAD, PETE. HIT ME.

262
00:12:29,216 --> 00:12:33,417
IT'LL BE THE SECOND BLOW
YOU STRUCK ME TODAY.

263
00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:36,420
IRENE, I WON'T BE IN NEED
OF YOUR SERVICES TODAY.

264
00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:37,889
I'M ALREADY ANNOYED.

265
00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:39,590
OHH!

266
00:12:39,626 --> 00:12:42,727
DID YOU SEE THIS PICTURE
OF PETE IN THE ARMS OF...

267
00:12:42,763 --> 00:12:44,763
OH, THAT!

268
00:12:44,798 --> 00:12:48,199
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT'S
IT'S LIKE TO KISS PETE, IRENE.

269
00:12:48,235 --> 00:12:49,868
OH, WAIT. YOU DON'T.

270
00:12:49,903 --> 00:12:53,171
OKAY, THIS IS VERY UPSETTING.

271
00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:56,040
YOU HAVE TO... HAVE TO RELAX!

272
00:12:56,076 --> 00:12:58,609
I'M GONNA GO HOME,
GIVE THE CATS A BATH...

273
00:12:58,645 --> 00:13:00,845
ALTHOUGH, I COULD
USE SOME HELP...

274
00:13:00,881 --> 00:13:04,715
SCRUBBING THEIR
SOFT... NAKED BACKS.

275
00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:08,987
EW!

276
00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:10,321
ALL RIGHT.

277
00:13:12,893 --> 00:13:14,325
WOW!

278
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:17,829
HOW LONG HAVE BERG AND
IRENE BEEN SLEEPING TOGETHER?

279
00:13:21,868 --> 00:13:24,135
MAN! YOU REALLY HAVE NO CLUE

280
00:13:24,171 --> 00:13:28,173
WHEN IT COMES TO
RELATIONSHIPS, DO YOU?

281
00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:31,409
NOW WOULD YOU PLEASE JUST
FOCUS? WE HAVE A PROBLEM OUT THERE.

282
00:13:31,444 --> 00:13:33,311
I CAN'T MAKE NOMAR
STAY IN BOSTON.

283
00:13:33,346 --> 00:13:36,547
HE FINDS IT TOO PAINFUL TO
BE IN THE SAME CITY WITH ME.

284
00:13:36,582 --> 00:13:38,627
WELL, THEN I
GUESS IT'S UP TO ME.

285
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,251
I HAVE TO MAKE HIM REALIZE

286
00:13:40,287 --> 00:13:42,687
WHAT A HORRIBLE,
HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE...

287
00:13:42,722 --> 00:13:46,090
HORRIBLE... HORRIBLE
PERSON YOU ARE.

288
00:13:46,126 --> 00:13:49,160
FINE. IF YOU THINK
NOMAR'S GONNA BELIEVE

289
00:13:49,196 --> 00:13:51,495
THE BABBLINGS OF A
PONY-KICKED CHILD,

290
00:13:51,531 --> 00:13:53,497
THEN GO RIGHT AHEAD.

291
00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:56,000
ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT?
NOW YOU'RE BEING RUDE.

292
00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:03,674
UGH!

293
00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:06,978
SAY MY NAME.

294
00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:10,414
I DON'T REALLY WANNA... SAY IT!

295
00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:11,716
TIGER.

296
00:14:11,751 --> 00:14:13,784
NOW DO THE NOISE. AARRGH!

297
00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:14,919
AH, COME HERE!

298
00:14:17,991 --> 00:14:19,590
OH-HO!

299
00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:23,561
GREAT! NOW THE IMAGE IS BACK!

300
00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:26,530
OH, GOD! JOHNNY! THIS
ISN'T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE.

301
00:14:26,566 --> 00:14:28,799
IT'S JUST THAT... OH!
I WON THE LOTTERY!

302
00:14:30,436 --> 00:14:33,104
BACK OFF THERE, PRINCESS.
HE ALREADY KNOWS ABOUT US.

303
00:14:33,139 --> 00:14:34,139
WHAT?!

304
00:14:34,174 --> 00:14:37,141
APPARENTLY HE WAS STARING.

305
00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:38,409
THIS IS AWFUL!

306
00:14:38,444 --> 00:14:40,678
WHEN PETE FINDS OUT
HOW I'VE BEEN SOILED,

307
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:42,546
HE'LL<i> NEVER</i> TOUCH ME.

308
00:14:42,582 --> 00:14:46,684
OKAY, FOR THAT COMMENT YOU'RE
GONNA HAVE TO BUY ME SOMETHING.

309
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:49,053
OKAY, WHO ELSE HAVE YOU TOLD?

310
00:14:49,089 --> 00:14:50,288
NO ONE!

311
00:14:50,323 --> 00:14:51,990
GOD BLESS YOU, JOHNNY,

312
00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:55,960
AND ALL THE CHILDREN LUCKY
ENOUGH TO BE BORN UNTO YOU.

313
00:14:55,996 --> 00:14:58,162
BUT I HAVE TO TELL SHARON.

314
00:14:58,198 --> 00:15:01,065
MAY YOU ROT IN HELL WITH
YOUR DEAD GRANDPARENTS!

315
00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:05,003
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT
SHARON'S BEEN LIKE LATELY.

316
00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:07,838
I MEAN, I CAN'T
TAKE THE PRESSURE.

317
00:15:07,874 --> 00:15:09,507
I'M JUST A HANDYMAN.

318
00:15:09,542 --> 00:15:11,542
I WASN'T TRAINED FOR THIS.

319
00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:12,944
HE'S RIGHT, IRENE.

320
00:15:12,979 --> 00:15:15,914
SHARON CAN BE A REAL
HAG WHEN SHE WANTS TO.

321
00:15:18,184 --> 00:15:19,784
NOW, LISTEN, BUDDY.

322
00:15:19,819 --> 00:15:21,663
YOU'VE BEEN GETTIN'
THE MILK FOR FREE,

323
00:15:21,687 --> 00:15:23,933
BUT I CAN MAKE YOU LACTOSE
INTOLERANT PRETTY QUICK

324
00:15:23,957 --> 00:15:25,290
IF WORD GETS OUT.

325
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,727
COME ON, JOHNNY!
HELP ME OUT HERE, MAN!

326
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:32,063
BABY NEEDS HIS BOTTLE!

327
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:35,099
HELLO! HEY!

328
00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:39,603
SO, WHAT WERE THE THREE
OF YOU JUST TALKIN' ABOUT?

329
00:15:39,639 --> 00:15:41,105
OH, NOTHING!

330
00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:43,107
JOHNNY'S GRANDPARENTS...
THE PRICE OF MILK.

331
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,044
OH! OH!

332
00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:48,479
I GUESS THIS IS ABOUT YOUR'S
AND BERG'S SECRET, HUH?

333
00:15:48,514 --> 00:15:50,248
JOHNNY DOESN'T HAVE A SECRET.

334
00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:52,116
JOHNNY CAN TALK FOR HIMSELF.

335
00:15:52,152 --> 00:15:53,351
MAYBE HE SHOULDN'T.

336
00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:55,420
MAYBE YOU SHOULD BUTT OUT!

337
00:15:56,423 --> 00:15:58,734
I got $10 on the little one!

338
00:15:58,758 --> 00:15:59,790
STOP IT!

339
00:15:59,826 --> 00:16:01,125
SHARON, YES,

340
00:16:01,161 --> 00:16:04,662
I HAVE A SECRET THAT I
PROMISED NOT TO TELL,

341
00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:05,997
AND THAT'S THAT.

342
00:16:06,032 --> 00:16:08,499
OKAY, FINE.

343
00:16:08,534 --> 00:16:09,600
OKAY.

344
00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:10,969
I CAN RESPECT THAT.

345
00:16:11,004 --> 00:16:12,370
THANK YOU.

346
00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:15,406
FROM NOW ON...
THERE'LL BE NO DINNER...

347
00:16:15,442 --> 00:16:17,641
THERE'LL BE NO POKER NIGHT,

348
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:21,112
AND THE ONLY KIND OF
SEX YOU'LL BE HAVING

349
00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:23,181
IS THE KIND WITHOUT ME.

350
00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:25,450
AND THAT'S THAT!

351
00:16:28,855 --> 00:16:30,088
YES!

352
00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:32,223
JOHNNY, THAT WAS HEROIC.

353
00:16:32,258 --> 00:16:35,693
YOU GAVE UP NOOKY SO
THAT OTHERS MIGHT GET SOME.

354
00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:37,095
OH!

355
00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:44,268
IN A WAY...

356
00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:47,338
I THINK THIS IS
SORT OF MY FAULT.

357
00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:51,442
"IN A WAY"?! BERG,
THIS IS<i> ALL</i> YOUR FAULT!

358
00:16:51,478 --> 00:16:52,943
MORE THAN YOU KNOW.

359
00:16:52,979 --> 00:16:54,823
I ALREADY TOLD
SHARON THE SECRET.

360
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:56,247
WHAT?! YEAH.

361
00:16:56,282 --> 00:16:58,983
SHE WAS ACTUALLY JUST
BEING MEAN TO BREAK YOU,

362
00:16:59,019 --> 00:17:01,464
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU HELD YOUR GROUND.

363
00:17:01,488 --> 00:17:04,588
YOU... YOU ARE HEROIC.

364
00:17:09,929 --> 00:17:12,330
WHY DID WE HAVE TO MEET HERE?

365
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:13,564
YOU'LL SEE.

366
00:17:13,599 --> 00:17:15,266
NOMAR'S GONNA BE
ON THE 6:00 NEWS.

367
00:17:15,301 --> 00:17:17,068
I CONVINCED HIM
TO STAY IN BOSTON.

368
00:17:17,103 --> 00:17:18,436
HOW DID YOU MANAGE THAT?

369
00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:19,970
I FOUND HIM AT THE BATTING...

370
00:17:20,006 --> 00:17:22,606
ACTUALLY,<i> MARTI</i> FOUND
HIM AT THE BATTING CAGES.

371
00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:23,707
TELL HER.

372
00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:25,421
WELL, I WAS PRACTICING MY SWING

373
00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:27,685
AND NOMAR CAME UP AND
WAS GIVING ME SOME TIPS...

374
00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:29,514
YEAH, ANYWAY...

375
00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:33,751
I STARTED OFF BY TELLING HIM YOU
HAVE TWO BASIC PERSONALITIES...

376
00:17:33,786 --> 00:17:35,586
NASTY AND ASLEEP.

377
00:17:35,621 --> 00:17:37,188
HE WAS ONBOARD INSTANTLY.

378
00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:40,391
I'M VERY CONVINCING,
AREN'T I, MARTI?

379
00:17:40,427 --> 00:17:41,692
ARE YOU EVER.

380
00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,727
OH, I THOUGHT YOU
SAID<i> IRRITATING.</i>

381
00:17:46,166 --> 00:17:47,498
OH, HERE IT IS!

382
00:17:47,534 --> 00:17:50,768
IF YOU'LL TURN YOUR
ATTENTION TO THE TELEVISION

383
00:17:50,803 --> 00:17:52,870
AND HEAR WHAT NOMAR HAS TO SAY,

384
00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:55,139
AFTERWARDS I'LL BE
ACCEPTING YOUR APOLOGIES

385
00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:57,108
IN THE FORM OF
YOUR LIPS ON MY BUTT.

386
00:17:57,143 --> 00:18:01,845
BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO!

387
00:18:01,881 --> 00:18:04,648
WELL, IT COULD BE WORSE.
THIS COULD BE A PIE SHOP.

388
00:18:08,555 --> 00:18:11,089
<i>WELL, THE NIGHTMARE
IS OVER, RED SOX FANS,</i>

389
00:18:11,124 --> 00:18:13,591
<i>BUT LET'S LET THE
MAN TELL YOU HIMSELF.</i>

390
00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:16,194
<i>THAT'S RIGHT, MIKE.
I'M NOT LEAVIN' BOSTON.</i>

391
00:18:18,164 --> 00:18:19,663
<i>WHY THE SUDDEN TURNAROUND?</i>

392
00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:23,501
<i>LET'S JUST SAY SOMEONE
SPECIAL WITH AN INCREDIBLE SMILE</i>

393
00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:25,236
<i>CONVINCED ME TO STAY,</i>

394
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:28,939
<i>AND I'M REALLY LOOKIN' FORWARD
TO SEEIN' THAT SMILE A LOT.</i>

395
00:18:28,975 --> 00:18:30,374
WOW!

396
00:18:30,410 --> 00:18:32,710
I MEAN, I KNEW HE LIKED ME,

397
00:18:32,745 --> 00:18:35,779
BUT I HAD NO IDEA
HE NOTICED MY SMILE.

398
00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:41,519
OH, HUNGRY, HONEY?
OOPS! NO DINNER!

399
00:18:41,554 --> 00:18:45,623
I'VE CHANGED MY MIND. I'M
GOING TO TELL YOU MY SECRET.

400
00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:47,791
OOH! TELL ME! TELL ME! TELL ME!

401
00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:50,094
NOW I NEVER
WANTED TO LIE TO YOU.

402
00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:52,630
I NEVER HAD VERY
MUCH IN MY LIFE,

403
00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:54,543
BUT I'VE ALWAYS HAD MY WORD.

404
00:18:54,567 --> 00:18:56,601
YEAH, YEAH.

405
00:18:56,636 --> 00:19:00,804
I JUST... I WANT YOU TO KNOW
HOW MUCH I'M GIVING YOU.

406
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,707
JOHNNY, WE CAN'T HAVE
SECRETS BETWEEN US.

407
00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:07,145
OUR MARRIAGE HAS TO BE
BASED ON ABSOLUTE HONESTY.

408
00:19:07,180 --> 00:19:10,281
OH, I SEE THAT NOW.

409
00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:13,929
ALL RIGHT. THE SECRET IS...

410
00:19:13,953 --> 00:19:16,754
TWO OF OUR FRIENDS
LIVING IN THIS BUILDING

411
00:19:16,789 --> 00:19:18,489
ARE SLEEPING TOGETHER.

412
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:23,761
THOSE TWO PEOPLE
ARE PETE AND ASHLEY!

413
00:19:23,796 --> 00:19:25,796
OH, MY G...

414
00:19:30,903 --> 00:19:34,639
PETE AND ASHLEY?
<i>THAT'S</i> NOT THE SECRET.

415
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:36,707
WELL, THAT'S WHAT I HEARD.

416
00:19:36,742 --> 00:19:39,243
DID YOU HEAR
SOMETHING DIFFERENT?

417
00:19:42,715 --> 00:19:46,850
NO, I JUST THOUGHT...
YOU THOUGHT WHAT?

418
00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:49,220
NOTHIN'!

419
00:19:49,255 --> 00:19:50,988
WOW!

420
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:54,091
YEAH, SHOCKING, ISN'T IT?

421
00:19:56,262 --> 00:19:59,530
MAN, ONE MINUTE YOU
THINK YOU KNOW EVERYTHING,

422
00:19:59,566 --> 00:20:02,200
AND THE NEXT MINUTE
YOU DON'T<i> KNOW NOTHIN'!</i>

423
00:20:06,072 --> 00:20:07,505
AND I'M JUST GLAD

424
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:10,575
THAT WE CAN BE HONEST
WITH EACH OTHER, SWEETIE.

425
00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:11,975
NOW, UH...

426
00:20:12,011 --> 00:20:14,190
WAS THERE SOMETHING
YOU WANTED TO TELL ME?

427
00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:16,914
Uh... no.

428
00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,117
YOU'RE SURE?

429
00:20:20,152 --> 00:20:22,486
MM-HMM.

430
00:20:22,522 --> 00:20:25,323
OKAY, SO HERE'S
WHAT I WAS THINKING.

431
00:20:25,358 --> 00:20:27,024
YOU MAKE DINNER,

432
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:29,893
AND THEN WE'LL HAVE A
LITTLE "SLAP AND TICKLE,"

433
00:20:29,929 --> 00:20:32,896
AND THE BOYS WILL COME
OVER TO PLAY SOME CARDS,

434
00:20:32,932 --> 00:20:33,964
AND THAT'S THAT.

435
00:20:33,999 --> 00:20:36,100
Okay.

436
00:20:37,837 --> 00:20:39,203
OKAY.

437
00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:47,823
YOU BOTH SUCK! YOU BOTH SUCK!

438
00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:49,913
SHE'S LYING!

439
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,684
NO, NO, NO! SHE'S LYING!

440
00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:08,832
SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!

